Pilfering

From James Tata this time.

1) My uncle once: received a Purple Heart.
2) Never in my life: Been to Staten Island.
3) When I was five: My parents got divorced.
4) High school was: Fun, once I learned that the geeky kids were secretly the cool kids.
5) Fire is: Hot.
6) I once saw: Susan Sarandon, as I ran past her in a college building's hallway.
7) There’s this woman I know who: Missed a 4.o as a math/education major because of one A-minus in a feminism course.
8) Once, at a bar: I saw my father throw a drunk down the front steps.
9) By noon I’m usually: Fixated on the coming of lunch.
10) Last night: I played "hide the baby doll" with my toddlers.
11) If I only had: the means to do whatever I wanted, to be able to laugh at practicality.
12) Next time I go to church: I hope the good priest says Mass.
13) What worries me most: Something bad happening to the twins.
14) When I turn my head left: I see two valentine hearts my girls made for me last year.
15) When I turn my head right: Many pictures of said girls as babies.
16) You know I'm lying when: I'm in casual conversation with strangers or mild acquaintances. 17) What I miss most about the eighties: is Bono's voice before he damaged it but good with cigarettes and booze.
18) If I were a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: In the background. Shakespeare's characters had lives a hell of a lot more dramatic than mine!
19) By this time next year: The twins will be frighteningly old. (3)
20) I have a hard time understanding: Middle Eastern history and current events. Seriously - it's like something out of a Lord of the Rings novel; impenetrable.
21) You know I like you if: I engage in more than pleasantries with you willingly.
22) If I won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: My wife.
23) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Have nothing in common that I can figure out.
24) Take my advice, never: Eat a raw peanut. Ick.
25) My ideal breakfast is: Pancakes. I know, yawn. But really, really, good pancakes.
26) If you visit my hometown, I suggest you go to: Hogan's restaurant for some damn fine pancakes.
27) Why doesn't everyone: Chill.t
28) If you spend the night at my house: Very loud little people will wake you up.
29) I’d stop my wedding: If my wife-to-be's true love came running in at the last minute. (Nah.)
30) The world could do without: Barney. Should, really.
31) My favorite blond is: Charlize Theron.
32) If I do anything well, it’s: Write.
33) And by the way: Romance films and novels get some things right - ice cream can cure many an ill.

Until Whenever