Thursday, December 08, 2016

Parenting Tips

Posting for the first time in a while to share some parenting advice.

So last year, one of my twin daughters mocked a handicapped kid at school, grabbed a bunch of boys’ crotches and laughed about it, called a classmate fat, said “you have to treat the teachers like shit,” stood up in the cafeteria and loudly said that Muslims should not be allowed to attend her school until “that whole thing can be sorted out,” told a teacher she couldn’t grade her essay fairly because she was “a Mexican,” said that if other schools didn’t have good sportsmanship during football games we should assassinate their families, called kids from Paterson rapists, lied about how dangerous the hallways were, called a fellow student who put one of her friends in the hospital a “passionate guy,” told a teacher who needed to pump breast milk on her lunch break “disgusting,” told a teacher she should shut up because she was probably on her period, spent MONTHS telling anyone who would listen that the principal was probably not born in the US and should not have his job, lied about giving money to the bake sale, called a guidance counselor who is part Native American “Pocahontas,” said that teachers with kids should stay home and change their diapers, never said a word about all of the love notes she was getting from the KKK, called a football player who intentionally drilled an opponent and paralyzed him, “a great player,” suggested a classmate’s father killed the mayor, told a lunch lady she should not be allowed to man the cashier because she was not pretty enough, repeatedly asked the principal why we couldn’t just go to rival schools and smash windows and set them on fire, said she wished she could punch classmates who disagreed with her in the face, compared her sacrificing time to do homework to a classmates’ father who lost a leg in Afghanistan, insulted more than 200 people at the school, took money from a bake sale to buy a picture of herself to hang in her room, told classmates to “watch out for kids from Paterson trying to get into the school play,” lied about a classmate having made a sex tape, called a female janitor “Miss Piggy,” and called poor classmates “morons.”

What a scamp.

Oh! And my other twin daughter did a really shitty job of managing her e-mails, so we had her arrested.

1 comment:

Roger Owen Green said...

seems only fair