How White Am I?
Roger points me in the direction of the funny social commentary at Things White People Like. And, inspired by the non-white Roger's admission of liking some of these ostensibly dorky things, I thought I'd catalogue which of the things white people like I like. So:
#81 Graduate School
Yes. I have an MA in English and I'm not sure why. I started it because my company at the time was paying for it. But I only took one class before leaving for greener (but less tuition-reimbursement-happy) pastures.
#80 The Idea of Soccer
No. Never played it and don't particularly care for it, or that America is seemingly alone in not loving it.
#79 Modern Furniture
No. Ick. I like classic or old-fashioned furniture. Amish-made, solid, handcrafted stuff. Hate modern furniture.
#78 Multilingual Children
No. I've nothing against kids learning more than one language, but don't feel passionately that they must.
#77 Musical Comedy
Lord yes. As any regular reader knows.
#76 Bottles of Water
Ugh. I hate buying bottles of water. Very silly thing to do, unless one is thirsty and there is no convenient supply of tap available (at a park, say, where the pretzel guy has water but there are no fountains.). That being said, I hate water. So . . . flavorless.
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
Nah. Like any good American I get frustrated by the guvment, but never enough to threaten leaving.
#74 Oscar Parties
Yes. Never been but love the idea in theory. If the Oscars were on a Superbowl timeframe, I;d have one. But a Sunday party at 8? Just doesn't work.
No. I'm a suburb guy.
#72 Study Abroad
No. Never saw the draw.
#71 Being the only white person around
No. Sad to say, but I have no compulsion to travel to China and eat in a restaurant where I'm the only pale whitey there.
#70 Difficult Breakups
No. Never dated much, frankly.
#69 Mos Def
No. He was OK in Hitchhikers Guide; other than that, I'm nonplussed. Oh wait - I did very much like his "America" on the West Wing finale.
#68 Michel Gondry
Yes. Well; Sunshine and John Malkovich. Don't think I've seen any others.
#67 Standing Still at Concerts
Yes. But that's because I dance like a, well, white guy.
No. Not fun.
#65 Co-Ed Sports
Sure - it's fun to play with the wimmin folk too.
Yes. But I'm not much of an evangelist for it.
#63 Expensive Sandwiches
Yes. Guilty as charged. I love a fancy samwich, with sun-dried tomatoes, and high-falutin' mayos.
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
No. I don't pretend to know what it's like to be poor, or the best way for poor people to stop being poor.
Of course. Who doesn't like a nice bike ride. And for kids they're indispensable.
#60 Toyota Prius
Nah. I'm a "buy used and drive it into the dirt" kind of guy.
#59 Natural Medicine
An emphatic no. I'm a hard science guy; no quakery for me, thanks.
No. No interest in going, and don't have any real interest in Japanese films, music, comics.
Yes. Thought it was great.
No - not if it can be avoided. That it takes a lawyer to buy a house irks me to no end.
Yes. I apologize often.
#54 Kitchen Gadgets
Yes. And I take the extra-bleached step of never actually using them.
Yes. Cute and good companions.
#52 Sarah Silverman
Yes. I'm not a huge fan, but she makes me laugh.
#51 Living by the Water
Oh yes. A dream of mine - a big ol' vacation house on a lake in New Hampshire.
Of course. It's hard-wired.
No. I hate old stuff. Clothes, antiques. none of it.
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
No. too much work and not worth the price. I shop at a regular grocery store and shop sales.
#47 Arts Degrees
The aforementioned MA has me guilty.
#46 The Sunday New York Times
Yes. In theory. In practice, I read some of the front and sports pages, much of the arts section, and hope the magazine has an article I'm interested in.
#45 Asian Fusion Food
No. Haven't tried it, at least.
#44 Public Radio
No. I tried This American Life on podcast and got bored.
Yes. I do have a BA in Theater Arts.
No. Bland and non-filling.
#41 Indie Music
No. Too much to wade through - I need a bigger filter.
#40 Apple Products
Yes. But I haven't switched from a PC yet.
Yes; but I switched a few years back to its cheaper copycat, Blockbuster online, to take advantage of a cheaper price and in-store rentals.
#38 Arrested Development
Yes, but haven't gotten around to season two yet.
Yes; not that we've gone down that road yet. But the idea of adding to my house is appealing.
#36 Breakfast Places
Yes. I LOVE a good breakfast place. I miss the Le Peep in Morris County terribly.
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
No. On too late, and on too often to TiFaux.
No. Boring as hell.
No. Never tried, never will.
No. Meat is just too good.
No. Too expensive.
#30 Wrigley Field
No. Never been to Chicago; and if I do go, I won't be stopping by. Don't care about the Cubs.
#29 80s Night
No. The 80s music that gets played is mostly the bad 80s music.
#28 Not having a TV
Never. I LOVE TV.
Yes; in theory. I have a bad knee (and I am lazy). But I ran cross country in high school and always wanted to run a marathon one day.
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
No. I like the occasional visit, but mostly I'm happy in the suburbs.
#25 David Sedaris
No. I'm a teetotaler.
#22 Having Two Last Names
No. Confusing. And where does it end? If I give my daughter two last names and she marries one day and wants to hyphenate . . .
#21 Writers Workshops
No. I didn't find the workshop aspect of my writing classes all that useful.
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
No; I'm an expert on no cultures, and make no pretensions otherwise.
No. Expensive. Sure, there are places I'd like to see one day, but not tons of them, and I may never get to see them.
No. Awareness is overrated.
#17 Hating their Parents
No. My parents are all right.
#16 Gifted Children
Yes. I do fervently hope that my kids will turn out gifted. And yes, I know this is dumb.
No. Beyond my ken.
#14 Having Black Friends
No. Although, I don't have many friends, period, being something of an introvert.
No. I like a cup of tea fine, but that's about the extent of it.
#12 Non-Profit Organizations
No. I'm pretty apathetic, is the truth of the matter.
#11 Asian Girls
No. I'll admire a pretty Asian girl as much as a pretty white girl, but have no special affinity.
#10 Wes Anderson Movies
No. I liked Tanenbaums and Rushmore fine, but that's about it.
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
Yes. I get cabin fever pretty quickly, and look in suspicion on those who don't like being outside.
#8 Barack Obama
No. Not in love.
No. Just can't get too worked up about it.
#6 Organic Food
No. Not worth the price.
#5 Farmer’s Markets
As a Net and Kidd fan, yes.
#3 Film Festivals
No. My tastes tend towards the populist, not the super-arty.
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to
No. Not a fan of religion at all.
A thousand times yes. I am well and truly addicted.
My final tally? 28 Ayes and 53 Nays, which makes me only 35% white. Not sure what it makes me 65% of though.